Apparently I need to tell you more things today, journal platforms. You are lucky sonnaguns, that's for sure.

1. There were two (2) songs on my v.2 Pete/Patrick playlist (entitled "It's a Motherfucking Dance Party") until three days ago, and now there are ten (10). Because the title is sarcastic, I guess, and I really do have a lot more angry breakup(/emo rift) music than yay we're in love! music. (No, my current music is not on the mix. Noel Gallagher's live "Don't Look Back in Anger" is, though. Also, David Ford's "Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck)." This is how we roll, folks.)

2. I had a thought ahead of time on this craft project/gift/possibly inconsiderate modding scheme, and I'm taking pictures of the process! Whoo!

3. I get to make cupcakes soon! For my bear friend! And, oh, what would be really cool is if I made them for Kinky Craft Day and then my other friends could have some too! Cupcakes! \o/

4. Speaking of pictures, I'm having a body mod done tomorrow and there will be pictures. I'm going to create a one-time-use-only filter for posting them, because I totally hear not wanting to see photographs of some bloody stranger on the intronets, and also, mostly, because not all of those of you who may want/I want to see them are on the Fetlife. So if you want on the Some Bloody Stranger filter, pls indicate below (I'd do a poll, but they don't crosspost, etc. etc. the universe does lot exist for my convenience). Comments are screeeeeeened; comments unrelated to this topic will get unscreened.

5. I want to see Sherlock Holmes again. *pouts*

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It's not snowing here, but.

Had a very strange weekend. Strange things and awful things and wonderful things and awkward things and bad things, indeed. Working on my onetruemix, working on tiny poems, working on being ready for the hard things and scary things tomorrow.

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1a. Oh Pete. You're such a fucking drama queen. *eyeroll and facepalm*

1b. Of course I've been actually writing fic again for the last two days, and now this. Of course! Thx, guys! Andy is my favourite today, the end.

1c. kanata has--idk, "inspired" is not quite the right word, but something like that--somethinged me to start a silly little trans woman!Pete/Patrick established relationship thing where they run away to Costa Rica (sweet song, check it out).

2. I have no jeans to wear today, because one pair is all gross from getting forgotten in a bag of swimming stuff, and the other pair is all muddy from a ramble I took on Sunday. SADFACES.

3. The Tivo doesn't work with our cable phone service. I'm annoyed, because now I'm two weeks behind on SPN (and also, I don't think I can recap House for Rafael with the piquant douchebaggery of the source text [how annoying-then awesome-then annoying again was last night??? Jfc]).

4. It's my Name Day! Whee!

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1. I guess we're there now, huh? Geoff Lloyd, a founding member of/original bass player for Matthew Good Band (also: tru punx crusader for local hard music and venues), is dead. Idk what to say.

2. So, meme.

A. Answer each of the questions below the cut using the Flickr search engine.
B. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
C. Copy the URL of your favorite photos here.
D. Then share with the world.

First Name | Favorite Food | Hometown
Favorite Color | Celebrity Crush | Favorite Drink
Dream Vacation | Favorite Dessert | What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
What I Love Most In The World | One Word That Describes Me | My LiveJournal Name

( sharing! )

3. Via seimaisin: Adler/Holmes/Watson vid to Carbon Leaf's "The Boxer." Awesome!

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1. I don't really have any unique or new comments on Patrick's not a solo album. I was scared and anxious, but now I'm looking forward to it a ridiculously stupid amount of a lot (...story of my life?). And he's a really attractive bass player (see below). Idk. Also, also, I wrote this fic too! Except for the lack of major emotional trauma (hopefully). And no concert at the Olympics. Still!

2. Re: "new look." Seriously, noodling around in your home office on a webcam does not a fashion statement make--unless you're Pete Wentz, and I'd like to think we're all clear on who's whom by this point. (His haaaaaaaaaaaaands, omfg.)

3. All that being said, I may or may not have written most of a horribly self-indulgent little something about Patrick's ~decision to do whatever he's doing. It may or may not, in fact, be titled "Vanity Project," and may or may not include possibly imaginary!Pete, Craigslist ads for Twitterns, and various people making jokes about Lulu, Etsy, and CDbaby. *hands*

4. Our Lady Peace were my first favourite band, and Clumsy was the first CD I ever bought with my own monies, and the first album I ever sat and listened to with another person. They're playing it in its entirety on May 13 and 14 at the Orpheum. I think, after I've put away what I need to for IMsL, I might have to go. I think I owe it to myself, since I can't go to Seattle to see M.Good in March (WOE and LAMENTATIONS).

5. Trip plans for my AV in March and IMsL (NSFW) are progressing apace, yay.

6. Somebody send me a time-turner. I need it to be a month from now, please!

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This looks like an easy one.

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then repost this and spread the love (if you want to, you know, whatever).

(Omg, you guys, I know Lenny called a moratorium and everything, but Charlie Sexton and Justin Timberlake's cover of "Hallelujah" for the Haiti tribute album thing is so fucking beautiful, and I will share it with you illegally sometime in the future when the relief effort doesn't trump cheap art. You can buy it on iTunes if you have iTunes; it's probably still in the top 10.)

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Today I uploaded a bunch of my West Wing stuff to AO3 (because those are the only things not on andchimeras, so I figured they get line privileges for the archive), and apparently things show up twice in your index or something? So I deleted a bunch of stuff, too, accidentally. Bleh. I like being able to stamp things with their original publication dates, though. That's pretty neat.

Anyway. It's so weird to read things I wrote so long ago--some things I completely forgot about, even. And parts of those stories are really, really terrible (I cannot fathom ever writing in first person, what the actual fuck was I thinking), but parts of them are also good, and parts of them I recognize on a level beyond whose name is on the author line.

I'm still not upping the Annie Wright stories, though. For the love of Pete, no.

In other news, I had a freakin' sweet scene last night. It takes a while, but I do get desensitized to things, and it's only annoying because I take such precise snapshots of myself and attach so much value to my own Oponons of Things and Deciderations About Wot I Lyk.

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We've talked about how I really love music videos, right? This is kind of why.

( 'On to the Next One' - Jay-z | Swizz Beatz. )

NNNNNGH.

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1. Oh goddammit. I'm at the last stage of creating a gift for someone, and I was already unsure about what the final ingredient should be, and now I have a whole 'nother option, and it's annoying. An embarrassment of riches, or whatever it is they say. Maybe I'll make it a choose your own adventure, hrm.

2. The test facilitation went well. Course revision meeting on Friday, and then the local executive board gets final approval next week, and then it's being taught ferreals on February 1. WHEE.

3. I have polka dot underwear on, and that makes me happy.

4. Ordering some Will Astrologys next week-ish. Sigh, sigh. There's an open mike downtown on February 4. I know I need to do this, I do, but it's hard.

5. Holmes again tomorrow night, for sure! With Rafael! 7:05PM at Richmond Centre :)

6. This icon also makes me happy, as well as expressing fully the dichotomy of emotions I am feeling tonight. Huzzah.

And now it is time for stretching and Torah commentary and bed. Night!

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1. Gerard Way! You're my hero! NME article about the new album! The sidebar about the "top five new songs" caused a bit of a mess in my pants. "This ain't a room full of suicides," indeed.

2. "Strong" - Maya Stein

You don't have to be as strong
as you think you do.
You can come limping up the stairs,
stagger into my kitchen for water
and drink it as indelicately as a toddler,
and I will gaze at you with the same wonder
that broadsided me when I first realized
I could love you.
It does not matter if you are lost, or sick, or scared,
if the words you utter are gibberish or song,
if waking up makes your hair look funny,
if you forget the keys, if you burn our dinner,
if disaster is your ally.
You can enter my house like an elephant,
leave dirty handprints against the wall,
chew the mint directly off its pot
and I would whisper your name
like the caress it always is.

( Love, I will falter too. )

3. I like love poems that have words for all my loves.

4. The government is talking about laying off eight hundred (800) teachers next year. My words upon hearing the news, "Well, I'm glad I flunked out of becoming one, then." Because I would only have three-ish years of seniority, if I'd gotten a job at all. And then I realize I wrote a union course this month, and tomorrow it's being test facilitated, and yesterday and today I helped write the terms of reference/policies and procedures manual for a union committee. And I have the possibility of taking discussion leader training. And my future may be exactly what I wanted when I was sixteen--just not exactly as I saw it.

Knowing the shape of the landing pad is half of my ability to fly.

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Nonsense self-meta ahead:

I've spent a lot of time over-identifying with Sam Winchester and hating a lot of things that made me identify with him as a character (read: hating things about myself) that I never stopped to think: okay, so, don't be like Sam Winchester, hi. Or, better, acknowledge the selfishness and self-centeredness, acknowledge the tendency to take and think you're doing people a favour by it, acknowledge the blind possessiveness, acknowledge the knee-jerk reactions and quick judgements, acknowledge the cruelty. And then work against those things.

Being kind is hard, and starting at home isn't easier.

(Bleh, bleh, over-identifying with adorable musical geniuses who have anger management problems is so much nicer to my stomach, seriously, we could get back to that any time now.)

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Oh, right! There was Fancy Dress Movie-going on Friday night (thus the dress-wearing).

BJ's Succinct and Awesome Movie Revue for: NINE. Basically, it was awesome! Problematic, but seriously mostly awesome and aware of most of its problematicness and trying to fix things, which is such a nice change. Kate Hudson's number was too jarringly American (probably the point, granted), but Fergie (yes, really), Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, and Penelope Cruz were amaaaazing. And I like Daniel Day-Lewis because I always forget that he's Daniel Day-Lewis.

This movie is v.v. pretty, v.v. aware of its prettiness, and v.v. in love with Italy. And the way the external reality/internal world memory/dreamscape singing shenanigans are handled is quite great.

Best thing? Other than DDL's interactions with Sophia Loren, I mean. Dame Judi (effing) Dench, oh my god. How she manages to have the sexiest outfit in the whole movie is completely beyond me. ♥.

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1. This is update attempt number four. I don't know why.

2. I'm sad I have to wait another month to post my Pete/Ashlee onetruemix, 'cause I'm finished. SIGH. It might be a little too angsty, but whatevs. The on again/off again/cheating heart/you're too crazy/no, you're too crazy thing is a large part of why I enjoy the pairing! And I don't actually have that much happy-in-love-whee! music. Also, watch me continuing to leave Bronx out of everything ever. Boundaries for the win. \o/

2. If I have time tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to see Sherlock Holmes again. I need so many more hours of this movie in my life, guys.

3. In the morning, I have the application interview for my Enhanced Driver's License (whoo). Hopefully they don't count my student loans as "outstanding provincial debt." We'll see. After that, I have a union education policy and procedures manual (pee'n'pee manual, loooool I'm seven) subcommittee meeting.

4. I need to do some at-home yoga and a sit this week, seriously. I can feel my body seizing up around me and it's groooooooss.

5. I went out to a club last night for a mini burlesque show (it was a fundraiser for Toni Latour's Femme Project--I swear to my discomfort with binary gender systems that's the only website there is; it's a portrait/statement project about femme identity and culture) and, despite being about the median age of the attendess, felt so fucking old.

That being said, the parking lot where I locked my keys in my car instead of going to the same club, alone, scared shitless, wearing a really terrible stretch camo shirt, several years ago? Is being turned into condos. Awesome, Vancouver. Good job.

6. Semi-related to the above. If one more self-IDed genderqueer and/or trans person tries to gender police me ever again? I will lose my shit; I will lose my fucking cool. /gerardway

*

Okay. I feel updated now. Hope things are going well for you, wherever and whenever you are.

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Tonight I wore my grad (praaaaaahm for all y'all Americans) dress for the first time in a while. It was weird for several reasons (completely apart from it being a dress), but the one I want to say something about is:

When I was seventeen, I had a completely different relationship with my chest--my breasts, my cleavage, my decolletage, whatever you want to call it/them--mostly one of protection and hiding. I took a lot flack for my chest size as a kid (hitting puberty at nine/ten will cause these things, yo), and by the time I acquiesced to my mother and grandmother's wishes and chose a dress to wear for grad, I'd realized that, while I could enjoy my breasts, they were not the territory of anyone else's affection or interest, and I needed to protect them from that. Does that make sense?

When I was seventeen, I thought the straight across the chest neckline was super fuckin' sexy (still do!). My dress has a straight neckline, but it's about two inches higher than it came from the store. My mom and grandmother altered my dress so that it wouldn't show any cleavage (which can also be super fuckin' sexy, granted). I thought: I can't get a bra that will hoist my breasts high enough to look good with cleavage; what will I do with this expanse of pale skin???; oh god people will stare at those two little moles above the left one; what if the smattery birth mark on the left one peeks out??? So I asked for the dress to be altered.

Tonight, at twenty-six, I kept pulling the bodice of the dress down and adjusting the straps on my shoulders, certain I should be able to show a sliver of shadow. None was forthcoming.

My relationship with my chest has changed. This doesn't make me less of anything or more of anything. It just means I need to get my dress altered again.

(Don't get me wrong. My breasts are awesome.*)


*NOTE: Website linked does not actually have anything to do with my chest.

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1. I had a dream last night that I got accused of creating a "male persona" in fandom and basically being a fake and stuff and blahblahblah original slash/prowriting/oppression bingo fail. While it's true that I'm just waiting for the trans shoe to drop, I'm also hoping that trans fans will continue to be completely ignored in this wank (not necessarily for the betterment of the discourse, but for my own health and well-being).

2. Sherlock Holmes/House/etc. meta: a plea for TPTB to finally take the "sub" out of "subtext". I like this post a lot, and it is very true and awesome and this week's House made me go \o/ about a hundred times, but also almost made me cry with frustration and disappointment.

3. Tonight I'm buying some girly shit. Tomorrow I'm going in fancy-dress drag to see NINE with a bunch of other people.

4. I signed up to mix Pete/Ashlee for onetruemix (which, yes, should be a general OTP mix comm/challenge, I know, I'm not running it and I'm tired of fighting with people, at least their definition of "bandom" makes some sense--ie, there isn't one). We shall begin with Scott Weiland's "Barbarella," head on to Metric's "Sick Muse," and probably close with "Blackbird" (duuuuuh, wedding song, hi!).

5. Working on my prompts for the hetfic exchange. I wrote one of my favourite stories (of mine, whatevs, grammar) for this a few several years ago ("Our lives will not flash before our eyes," Veronica Mars), so this might be a good twixt-fandoms funtime. Or something.

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1. Grrrl Germs; zine distribution for "womyn and transgendered writers."

2. People at my union are really fond of using "plug in" as a term for getting people on projects, in courses, on committees, etc. As in, "Let's plug BJ in to the Assault Working Committee." I'm not sure how I feel about this usage.

3. Pho is the food of my heart today. Om nom nom.

4. A sampling of things currently on my "I Like That Song!" playlist. I stole some of these songs from/with the assistance of someone(s) out there on my rpage/flist, but I cannot for the life of me remember whom. Sry! I love them a lot!

( Several songs! No FOB or Matthew Good! New horizons, my friends! )

5. I just used this icon to amuse myself, fyi. Furry!Pete is one of my favourite Petes. ♥.

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End of year fic meme.

01. "What Became of Subtlety"
Pete/Patrick | NC17 | 5551 words
For sosodirty (the first!).

02. "Placebo Effect (the Call Someone Who Cares Remix)"
Sam/Ruby | 14A | 1214 words
For remixredux09.

03. "Document"
Patrick/Anna, Patrick/Pete | R | 24267 words
Started about a hundred years ago, finished for genderbendbb.

( Questions! )

If I did New Year's resolutions, this year's would be: have more fucking stories for this meme next January. Love a duck.

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APOCAREC: "petewentz @ stumpalicious" by svmadelyn. Warnings for zombies and Twitterfic (and "Pete tricks Patrick into getting married" and mpreg), but I just about peed myself laughing, especially at the Very Special Cameo Special Appearance near the end. Fucking hilarious.

stumpalicious @ petewentz: It's kind of freeing knowing that I'm posting into an ether b/c everyone's dead

stumpalicious @ petewentz: sorry that everyone's dead

stumpalicious: ten new followers wtf?

petewentz @ stumpalicious: u have more than me!?

:D :D :D

End of year meme? What end of year meme? Sigh.

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Okay, so, it's done. "Melodramatic Ninny" has been renamed "Will Astrology," and you can buy it here for $5.50, or download it here for freeeeez.

Shipping is kind of overpriced, whatevs. Don't you want to cuddle my book???? *puppy eyes*

(For the love of Pete, if you read it and have a thought, tell it to me so I can change the back cover. PLS.)

(My icon seriously accurately reflects how I'm feeling about this project right now. *falls over*)

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I am suspicious about the origins of this meme, because nobody's said where they got it, AND YET somebody on my flist/rpage was soliciting lists of "favourite" tropes the other day. CURIOUS. Also, I don't know if I'm supposed to just talk about my general feelings on these tropes, or specifics about writing/reading them??? Idk. Blind memeage!

I got it from kanata, anyway.

( trope meme! )

Probably I'll do the end of year one in a little bit. First, I have to heat up some roti and veggies'n'squash-in-jalfrezi.

...I am suddenly craving crusty cheesey bread sticks. Wtf?

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